(Untitled)

(Disclaimer: None of the content of this text is real, nor is it meant to mirror real-time events, people, or entities ("entities" being countries, corporations, and non-singular groups). This is purely for entertainment purposes.)

I hate this. So much. I've fought so hard. So hard, so long, so long. And ive gotten nowhere. I promised. I promised myself, I promised you, i promised mom, I promised dad. That I'd end the war before it got worse. And here we are. Years deep, years in, and it feels like its going to go longer because of us. Because of me. Is there even a way to put an end to this? To put an end to the suffering that's brought nothing but suffering, division, and pain to all of Droodkind? So much of my life, ive put forward to ending this. And now I cant even focus on and finish a singular project. Somethings wrong with me. I should've stopped it by now. I dont understand why. I could've done it by now. I should've done it by now. But why haven't i? Why cant i? Am I part of the fire that burns people alive? Why do I have to fail everyone i make promises to? Im tired. Im scared. Im doing my best. Im doing my best, but my best is never enough. Why cant I just be better? I've held it together for 17 years. I've nearly gone over the edge because of dad. I tried so hard not to, but i gave in. But seeing mom cry like that scared me even more. I didn't want to hurt her. I wanted to relieve her of the stress I caused. I wanted her to be free of me. But she didn't want that. I dont see why, Penny. I dont get it. What do you see in me that I cant see myself? I dont know what to do or how to move forward. But I dont wanna let them down. Should i just give up? Should I just move on? Im so caught between everything i cant hold a single thought for more than 5 seconds. Please help me man.